I am part of the sandwich generation. I live at home with my partner, our son and his aging mother. It isn’t easy.
While I have long been aware that when children arrive in a relationship then your focus shifts, I never expected that I would spend my 30s catering to the needs of a senior citizen as well.
There are a number of issues that arise from sandwich generation living that you might never consider before committing to the arrangement. All should be considered if you are in a position to make a choice between home residence and assisted living facilities.
While elderly people must have their needs met for them in much the same way that younger children do, older family members feel, and quite justifiably so, that they have a right to have a say in all areas of the day-to-day running of the household. It is extremely hard to turn around to someone who was once an authority figure in your life and lay down the law to them, but it is something that has to be done.
In our house, for example, the recent debate was over the wearing of high heeled shoes. Momma loves her heels, but unfortunately she is no longer as steady on her feet as she once was, meaning that the heels have led to more than one trip in the last few weeks.
My partner finally bit the bullet and told her: “Momma, you just can’t wear those shoes anymore.” Well, let’s just say it didn’t go down too well. No grown up likes to be told what they can and can’t do and hearing it from family members they raised can make it even harder. I sometimes wonder whether our set up is the right thing for all of us or whether we should look into other options.
