Tips for Selecting an Adoption Professional

The love for a child doesn’t grow in your belly, it grows in your heart. Choosing to adopt a child is one of the most loving and gratifying things a person can do. But it can also be one of the most difficult because there are so many different rules and regulations. Adoption laws vary by state, and regulations can vary by agency, making it very confusing for many people.

A way to help you get through the adoption process is to use the services of an adoption professional. It is very important that you work with an adoption professional that you can trust and that has experience in the type of adoption you want to pursue. So, first you should do some research and record the names of adoption professionals in your area.

Look at your list and eliminate any professionals that do not specialize in the type of adoption you want. Next, get referrals from former clients or even other adoption professionals. If you hear something that doesn’t resonate with you, remove them from the list. Next, look at the cost and fees for the professional and eliminate those that are out of your budget. Look at the adoptive parent requirements of the remaining professionals on your list, including age, health, income, martial status. Remove any professionals that have requirements that you do not meet.

Ask the adoption professionals these questions, and then make your final decision:

•    How long does the average adoptive parent have to wait when utilizing your services?
•    Do you offer any pre-adoption or post-adoption services?
•    How many adoptions have you completed? How many have failed?
•    How do you receive medical information on the children?

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Adoption Types –Open Adoption

Open adoption has become increasingly popular over the past few years, especially since 20 years ago this was not an option. Many adoption professions feel that being open about a child’s birth parents, adoptive parents, and the adoption process as a whole is beneficial to all parties involved. It allows the placing parents the ability to prepare for the grieving of adopting out their child, and it also gives the adopting parents the ability to prepare to immediately bond with the child.

During an open adoption, both the adoptive parents and the birthparents have some knowledge about each other and they may have even chosen each other. Also, information like medical histories and genetic information are typically given freely during an open adoption. The degree of openness during the adoption process is really up to both families. It can be as little as being present at birth and handing over some medical history, to the families visiting with each other every weekend. Children that were adopted openly typically know from birth that they are adopted.

There are many benefits to having an open adoption, which have been proven by some long term research. Benefits include:
•    No confusion about who is the parent
•    No fear that the birthparents will try to reclaim the child because they know the parents and they know the child
•    Children can easily ask about their adoption, even the difficult ones about why they were adopted
•    Birthparents report a confidence in their difficult decision when they know how the child is doing and have a sense of security knowing how the adoptive parents are taking care of the child.

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Adoption Types – Military Adoption

Many people may think that because they are in the military that they can not adopt. This is far from true. It has never been easy for a family in the military to adopt a child, but it is not impossible. Because military families move around a lot, some agencies are reluctant to place children with them. Since military families know this, they are sometimes reluctant to try to adopt. But times are changing and many agencies are re-thinking their thoughts on military adoption.

Many adoption agencies see the issue of relocation as a major problem with military families, even though the Interstate Compact for the Placement of Children (ICPC) allows a child from one state to be adopted by a family who moves to a different state. The ICPC is an informal agreement between states, it is not a law, so some agencies simply choose not to implement it into their practices.

If a military family wants to adopt a child, they need to strongly advocate for themselves. This includes proving that the new agency in their new state is just as stringent and thorough in its homestudy and follow-up processes as the original agency is in their previous state. This usually comes into play when a military family starts the adoption process in one state and is then required by to move to another state and the family wants to continue the adoption process while residing in their new state.

A great alternative is to find adoption professionals that specialize in helping military families adopt. There are adoption professionals that will not only assist military personnel living in the United States, but they can also help military families that are living abroad.

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Adoption Types – Special Needs Adoption

There are many great kids out there with special needs that need and deserve a loving home just like all other kids. Typically, special needs children are harder to place in a permanent home because of their need for special help due to a disability of some sort. But, over the past few decades, more and more people are opening up their homes to children with special needs. A child with special needs can be an infant, or any age up through 18 years old. The majority of special needs children looking for a forever home are in the public foster care system, and many have moved through several different homes. This can lead to the child having more issues than other children that do not have special needs.

The term special needs is defined differently when talking about adoption, than what most people understand the term to mean. A child with special needs usually needs special educational services or has some sort of disability. When talking about adoption, a child with special needs can be a child with health problems, is part of a minority group, has emotional problems, has siblings that need to be adopted together, has a history of abuse or neglect, are older, or has been exposed to alcohol or drugs. Each state has a different opinion as to what constitutes a special needs child.

Some agencies will require potential adoptive parents to meet certain requirements to be eligible to adopt a special needs child. This could a certain age requirement, marital status, length of marriage, and proven commitment and preparation to properly care for and love a special needs child.

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Thinking About Adoption – Where Do I Start

Adopting a child can be one of the most wonderful things you do in your life, yet it can also be very confusing, stressful, and nerve-wracking. There are so many children in the world, of all ages, that are looking to become part of a loving family. No matter what your reasons are for adopting a child, it is very important that you research, read and learn about all there is regarding adoption.

Your first step is to look into your local and state laws surrounding adoption. If you are planning to adopt a child in a different state, then both states laws must be followed. If you want to adopt a child from another country, then you must find out about the specific international adoption laws for that country.

But your research doesn’t stop there. You also need to hear about the emotional commitment involved in adopting a child. Learn about how being adopted affects children and how adopting a child affects parents, both the biological and the adoptive parents. There is a wide variety of emotions that everyone involved in an adoption will go through and you must be prepared for these emotions and have a plan on how to handle them.

There are many questions that you should ask yourself as you are considering and learning about adoption:

•    How will I talk about adoption with my child?
•    How do I feel about not being genetically related to my child?
•    Am I willing to deal with birthparent issues?
•    Will adopting a child of a different race affect the dynamics of my family?
•    Am I comfortable with the fact, and able to deal with the fact that my child may have developmental and emotional issues due to living in an orphanage?
•    Am I okay about missing the infancy stage of my child’s life?

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Adoption Types – Closed Adoption

Closed adoption is becoming a thing of the past, with the only few places it is still practiced is when adopting internationally or adopting through the foster care system. This form of adoption should not be confused with sealed records, which isn’t a type of adoption but more of a practice that can be used in any form of adoption.

When a person is looking at closed adoption, they are looking to have no contact between the biological and the adopted families. Many children don’t even know they are adopted when their parents went through a closed adoption process. Or, the children don’t know they are adopted until they are older and their adoptive parents feel they can handle the information.

In a closed adoption, the child’s placement is typically chosen by adoption professionals. Adoption professions will match a child with an adoptive family for a closed-adoption no matter if it is a domestic, international, or foster adoption. When the adopted child reaches the age of majority in your state, they are legally allowed to search for their birth parents and their birth parents have the ability to search for them. Adoption agreements only stay in force until the child reaches the legal age that she or he can make their own decisions.

Closed adoptions are regulated by state laws, so be sure to familiarize yourself with the adoption laws in your state. Sometimes there are post-adoption contact agreements involved in a closed adoption, but they may not be legally binding in your state. Don’t forget that if you are adopting a child from out of state, you also have to comply with the laws of that state also. Doing research will ensure that you are familiar with the adoption process, you are familiar with the laws and regulations, and you will know what to expect on the journey to becoming an adoptive parent.

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Adoption Types –Semi-Open Adoption

There are a lot of terms that get thrown around when talking about adoption. There are many different kinds, lots of different rules, and what makes it tough is that the rules for one type of adoption in one state are different from another state. Your best bet is to research the laws in your state before you decide on the type of adoption process you’d like to go through. One of the more common types of adoption is a semi-open adoption.

In a semi-open adoption, non-identifying information is shared between the placing parents and the adopting parents. This type of information sharing typically includes photos, letters, and emails. These are usually exchanged through an agency or third party, or the adopting parents will sometimes set up a post office box for these items to be sent and received through. Although each set of parents will casually stay in touch, there is usually no face-to-face visitation involved, though the terms of your specific adoption could be different.

Another great thing that many people like about semi-open adoption is that it is not uncommon for both the adoptive family and the placing family to choose each other and spend some time together prior to the final adoption. For example, the adoptive parents are sometimes able to come to a few prenatal doctor’s appointments or spend time at the hospital during and after the baby’s birth.

Another aspect of semi-open adoption is that that child involved normally does not have any direct communication with their biological parents. Again, this can differ depending on your specific agreement. Some families will get together every year, or another agreed upon schedule. Once the child turns 18, they have the option to locate their biological parents and because the adoption process was semi-open, they will typically have some basic information and will be able to find the biological parents rather easily.

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Celebrating An Adoption

The adoption of a child is a wonderful thing, for not only the new parents but family and friends as well. It is a time to be celebrated and embraced. The path to adoption can sometimes be a difficult and time consuming process, and when it is completed and the new child is brought home, there can be no better reason for a celebration.

Parents should be rightfully proud of their new addition and should take this time to share the pride they have of their new child, as well as to let friends and family embrace the new one into their lives.

There are many different ways to throw an adoption party, from simple to elaborate. Here are a few ideas to make the event fun and memorable.

Throw a theme party. Use baby costumes to dress up your child as an angel or other appropriate costume. Princesses, cowboys and teddy bears are also popular costumes for babies. The adults in attendance are sure to enjoy your new bundle of joy all dressed up. You can consider having the entire party be a costume-themed one as well.

If your child came from a different country, you can have a party based around that country. Serve food from that country and decorate the party with decorations from that country. This theme will also work even if the child was adopted from another state. You can have a seafood-themed party if say, your child came from Maine, or perhaps a surf party if he or she came from California.

Make sure that you have your child’s baby book available at the party. You should have completed it up to the child’s adoption with information and memories that you have. Encourage guests to bring a letter or other memento for inclusion in the book.

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Adoption Types – International Adoption

There are many choices to consider when you are thinking about adoption, from what type of adoption process you’d like to go through to the age and gender of the child you’d like to adopt, and whether you’d like to adopt a child in the United States or abroad. Many people really like the thought international adoption and giving a child a home from another country. Every country has different laws regarding international adoption so your first step is to learn about these laws and choose a country that works vest for your family.

One benefit to international adoption is that it is all done in the child’s home country. When you bring your child home to America, the child is legally yours and there is nothing more you need to do. Some of the more popular countries that Americans adopt from include Russia, Korea, China, and Guatemala. Laws can change at any time so make sure you know the current rules for adoptions in the country of your choice.

When you are looking into adopting a child from another country, you must meet specific standards that are defined by the United States Government. Some of the requirements may seem odd, but they must be respected. For example, to adopt a child from Korea, some agencies will not work with you if you weigh more than 30% over the normal weight for your height. To adopt a child from St. Lucia, you have to property on the island. Many countries will not adopt to singles. If you are looking at adopting from Indonesia, you must live in that country for two years and have a belief in God before your application will even be considered. If you want to adopt a child from Slovakia, you must remain in the country throughout the entire adoption process, which and be for one to two years.

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Adoption Types – Independent Adoption

Americans have the choice of two different types of adoption, independent adoptions and agency adoptions. Agency adoptions are through local public agencies, like foster care, social services, and licensed private agencies. Independent adopts are adoptions in which the biological parents and the potential adoptive parents find each other on their own. Most states allow independent adoption, sometimes with the assistance of an agency.

There is more work that must be done by each set of parents when going through an independent adoption, which many like that control. Of course, this means that both parties need to really understand the state and federal laws surrounding adoption to make sure it is all done correctly and legally. Just as with many things in life, there are risks and rewards. You must do your due diligence to make sure you are comfortable with the risks associated with independent adoptions.

When you are in an independent adoption, you will need to hire an attorney and sometimes other intermediaries as defined by the law in your state. You’ll want to choose an attorney that specializes in adoptions. You may also want to think about using an adoption vacillator, if it is allowed in your state. If you are looking at international adoptions, you may be able to do most of the work yourself, if you are comfortable with that and if it is permitted by law. Although this is allowed for a small percentage of international adoption you may still need to have in-country assistance.

No matter what type of adoption you are considering, it is very important that you research all of your options and become familiar with your state’s adoption laws. If you will be adopting a child from anther state, then both states’ laws must be followed. If you are looking at adopting a child from another country, than you will not only have to follow your state’s laws, but you will also have to comply with the laws of the specific country you are looking to adopt from, the U.S. State Department, and the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Service.

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