Family ? a beautiful concept

Family Portrait

Image by Gideon Tsang via Flickr

A family is indeed a beautiful concept. Families exist not just in humankind. It exists even in animal kind a well. A family is often a backbone of a person’s success. A person’s journey through many phases is dictated by how strong the family support was.

In modern days, people give less time for families. Which is not right. Taken for granted, families are just existing, but not creating what they are supposed to create. A family is supposed to create togetherness. Togetherness is a great and secure feeling to have. Just imagine how it could be if you were part of a big family that is well-knit. Life would be just one big party.

We have to concentrate on building families. It’s good to have people around us who genuinely love us. Married couples avoid having children. But they do not understand the joy of having a family. They do not realize how children could in-turn becomes their support system, and how their children’s children could become part of a huge family.

The more people we have to love us, the more secure we become. Our family members are precious. We need to give the more time. No matter how much we earn, if we do not invest much time for our families, we become lone sailors.

A family is a beautiful concept. We have to only take the finer points of our families, and forget about the negativities. As the world moves into new millenniums, families are becoming smaller. People are staying single. This is an alarming trend. People have to get back to where they started from. A family.

 

 

 

Filed Under: Children, Family Life Tagged With: , ,

Developing a culture of sharing in the family

Rabbit (named Mopsy) sharing an apple with his...

Image via Wikipedia

Familial values go a long way in shaping one’s personality. Parents need to realize this. They should try to imbibe values of sharing in children at a very early age. Without which children will become selfish. And selfishness is the single-most cause of familial discord in the long run.

When there is no sharing in the family, there can never be any bonding. Bonding creates strong attachment between family members. A family is only a support system if the members of the family bond with each other deeply. Otherwise how could it be a support system?

If you are a parent who wants to cultivate the spirit of sharing in the family, and do not know how to do it, here are some tips.

Eat from a single plate

Try this exercise at dinner. Don’t do it everyday, lest it become boring. Make your children eat from one single plate. Let them share their food with their siblings. You can lead them by example, by sharing your plate with them. By doing this, children will learn the art of giving others as much as they give themselves. They will become more conscious of the proportions they take, and the proportions they give others. They will realize if they are selfish or not. More often than not selfish people do not know they are selfish.

Help them help others

Give your children a chore of finding someone in need, so that they can help this person in need. You can help them help this person in need. By doing this, they imbibe the behavior of giving, which is so vital for the family and society.

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You can become a role model for your children

Walk in the Light 

Image by garryknight via Flickr

Why do you children grow up the way they are? Is there a reason? Research has shown that the environment in a house could be the determining factor. As parents, do you squabble with each other? Have you checked if this is affecting you children?
Children by themselves do not have opinions when growing up. Their perceptions are formed what they see around them. Often, they look upto their parents for an attitude towards life. That’s because they do not have any initially. They are still coming to terms with why they were born. They are looking for a purpose in their life.

As parents, you need to set the right examples to your children. If you by nature are lazy, then invariably your children will learn from you. You need to shed your bad behaviors to help your children learn from it. Set examples by showing your children by action and not just by words.

A lot of good mannerisms will go a long way in making your children polished human beings. If you are abusive in the house, your children will learn this vocabulary and become as abusive as you are. You need to speak to children like the way you want them to speak in general. Use words of politeness, and tidiness. Do not every use brash, abusive lingo to converse with your children.

Teach your children how to respect others. Only if you are a respectful person will they become respectful human beings. It’s simple. During their initial years of development, they learn from everyone. The people whom they learn from the most are their parents.

 

Filed Under: Children, General Tagged With: , ,

Thinking of adoption?

"Under the horse chestnut tree", 1 p... 

Image via Wikipedia

Would you or wouldn’t you? Are you still searching for the answer? If you are confused on this, then you need to be doubly sure before adopting a child. If you can segregate thoughts of parenthood to being a emotional process more than being a biological one, then you are a parent.

Parents don’t become parents on virtue of giving birth to children. It’s what they make of their children that counts. If you are a parent, you can make a child a better human being in the society. Your child will bring a lot of happiness to one and everybody with his or her actions. The credit will invariably go to you.

Parenthood is a promise of the future. It’s growing something that you want to bloom in beautiful proportions. There is no greater joy than seeing children grow up to become erudite, responsible, and loving human beings. You can achieve this with any child. Not just your biological child.

Parenthood is an art and science. It is an investment for the present, and future. Feel the loving pangs of innocent love. Feel the desperation of having helpless children look up to you. Embrace the responsibility of raising life like a divine calling.
You don’t need to think twice before adopting a child. A child is a child, regardless of his or her genes. What the child grows up to depends on the environment. It does not matter what the adopted child’s parents were. It hardly matters.

You can bravely adopt a child and live to see your adopted child looking at you with gratitude and love. There is no greater feeling than that.

Filed Under: Children, General Tagged With: , ,

Budget Challenges For Adopting Older Children

In addition to adoption fees and legal costs, adopting older children can present both financial advantages and challenges. While the waiting list is longer for newborns and infants, older children can usually be placed relatively quickly, and adoptive parents may have less time to prepare and save. However, because more older children are available, families may incur fewer costs because there is less searching involved.

Bringing home an older child can also bring financial surprises to formerly childless families. These children may have interests and hobbies that new parents did not plan for. Because it is important to maintain continuity in the child’s life, parents want to make sure they can afford these activities. If there are other children at home, parents may find their expenses doubling just by providing the basics such as school supplies, sports involvement and other recreational activities. At the same time, large families may find it very easy to add one more to their families when kids can hand down clothing, books and toys.

Older children may also have special emotional or physical needs that need to be considered when creating an adoption budget. Although intensive therapy costs can be substantial, they are often covered by health insurance even before the adoption is final. There may be uncovered costs such as modifying a home or creating accessibility features. Prospective parents should look closely at how their homes will need to be modified and made safer. Incidental costs that are not covered need to be included in the overall adoption budget.

Filed Under: Adoption, Children Tagged With: , , ,

Handling New Additions to the Family

You’ve just remarried and your new husband has one adopted child. You have two biological children. Strange as it may seem, you truly feel like the “Brady Bunch” except for the almost perfect and unrealistic life this television family seemed to have.

Gezin picknickt naast hun DAF / Dutch family having a picnic

“Hate” is a strong word at your house even if the word “hate” is rarely used. If a picture is worth a thousand words then a look from one of your new children’s eyes is worth a million. How can you get these new children to like you? To see that you’re really out there to help them? That you don’t want to take the place of the missing parent, only give them a loving place to live?

Consider these ideas:

  • You’re not alone. Your own children will be struggling too—they have to share everything they used to take for granted before.
  • Listening is your greatest tool for future success. Find out what your new children enjoy and make it a point to ask them about it.
  • Make sure your children from your first marriage don’t get lost in the shuffle. Spend one on one time as needed.
  • Be sincere in your feelings and allow your spouse’s children (as well as your own) the space they need to adjust to the new situation.
  • Plan outings together with the intent on getting to know each other. There should be no judgment here, just an opportunity to discover one another away from home.

Be patient. As with all change, it takes time to get comfortable and feel as if the family is a unit. Give everyone, including yourself; some needed time to make the shift.

Filed Under: Adoption, Family Life Tagged With: , ,

Tips for Selecting an Adoption Professional

The love for a child doesn’t grow in your belly, it grows in your heart. Choosing to adopt a child is one of the most loving and gratifying things a person can do. But it can also be one of the most difficult because there are so many different rules and regulations. Adoption laws vary by state, and regulations can vary by agency, making it very confusing for many people.

A way to help you get through the adoption process is to use the services of an adoption professional. It is very important that you work with an adoption professional that you can trust and that has experience in the type of adoption you want to pursue. So, first you should do some research and record the names of adoption professionals in your area.

Look at your list and eliminate any professionals that do not specialize in the type of adoption you want. Next, get referrals from former clients or even other adoption professionals. If you hear something that doesn’t resonate with you, remove them from the list. Next, look at the cost and fees for the professional and eliminate those that are out of your budget. Look at the adoptive parent requirements of the remaining professionals on your list, including age, health, income, martial status. Remove any professionals that have requirements that you do not meet.

Ask the adoption professionals these questions, and then make your final decision:

•    How long does the average adoptive parent have to wait when utilizing your services?
•    Do you offer any pre-adoption or post-adoption services?
•    How many adoptions have you completed? How many have failed?
•    How do you receive medical information on the children?

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Adoption Types –Open Adoption

Open adoption has become increasingly popular over the past few years, especially since 20 years ago this was not an option. Many adoption professions feel that being open about a child’s birth parents, adoptive parents, and the adoption process as a whole is beneficial to all parties involved. It allows the placing parents the ability to prepare for the grieving of adopting out their child, and it also gives the adopting parents the ability to prepare to immediately bond with the child.

During an open adoption, both the adoptive parents and the birthparents have some knowledge about each other and they may have even chosen each other. Also, information like medical histories and genetic information are typically given freely during an open adoption. The degree of openness during the adoption process is really up to both families. It can be as little as being present at birth and handing over some medical history, to the families visiting with each other every weekend. Children that were adopted openly typically know from birth that they are adopted.

There are many benefits to having an open adoption, which have been proven by some long term research. Benefits include:
•    No confusion about who is the parent
•    No fear that the birthparents will try to reclaim the child because they know the parents and they know the child
•    Children can easily ask about their adoption, even the difficult ones about why they were adopted
•    Birthparents report a confidence in their difficult decision when they know how the child is doing and have a sense of security knowing how the adoptive parents are taking care of the child.

Filed Under: Adoption Tagged With: , ,

Adoption Types – Military Adoption

Many people may think that because they are in the military that they can not adopt. This is far from true. It has never been easy for a family in the military to adopt a child, but it is not impossible. Because military families move around a lot, some agencies are reluctant to place children with them. Since military families know this, they are sometimes reluctant to try to adopt. But times are changing and many agencies are re-thinking their thoughts on military adoption.

Many adoption agencies see the issue of relocation as a major problem with military families, even though the Interstate Compact for the Placement of Children (ICPC) allows a child from one state to be adopted by a family who moves to a different state. The ICPC is an informal agreement between states, it is not a law, so some agencies simply choose not to implement it into their practices.

If a military family wants to adopt a child, they need to strongly advocate for themselves. This includes proving that the new agency in their new state is just as stringent and thorough in its homestudy and follow-up processes as the original agency is in their previous state. This usually comes into play when a military family starts the adoption process in one state and is then required by to move to another state and the family wants to continue the adoption process while residing in their new state.

A great alternative is to find adoption professionals that specialize in helping military families adopt. There are adoption professionals that will not only assist military personnel living in the United States, but they can also help military families that are living abroad.

Filed Under: Adoption Tagged With: , ,

Thinking About Adoption – Where Do I Start

Adopting a child can be one of the most wonderful things you do in your life, yet it can also be very confusing, stressful, and nerve-wracking. There are so many children in the world, of all ages, that are looking to become part of a loving family. No matter what your reasons are for adopting a child, it is very important that you research, read and learn about all there is regarding adoption.

Your first step is to look into your local and state laws surrounding adoption. If you are planning to adopt a child in a different state, then both states laws must be followed. If you want to adopt a child from another country, then you must find out about the specific international adoption laws for that country.

But your research doesn’t stop there. You also need to hear about the emotional commitment involved in adopting a child. Learn about how being adopted affects children and how adopting a child affects parents, both the biological and the adoptive parents. There is a wide variety of emotions that everyone involved in an adoption will go through and you must be prepared for these emotions and have a plan on how to handle them.

There are many questions that you should ask yourself as you are considering and learning about adoption:

•    How will I talk about adoption with my child?
•    How do I feel about not being genetically related to my child?
•    Am I willing to deal with birthparent issues?
•    Will adopting a child of a different race affect the dynamics of my family?
•    Am I comfortable with the fact, and able to deal with the fact that my child may have developmental and emotional issues due to living in an orphanage?
•    Am I okay about missing the infancy stage of my child’s life?

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